Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 1:00am / Love

Today, I don't know anyone in the city where I just moved. I felt really lonely so I picked up my cat to try and cuddle with her. She freaked out and ripped my face apart. She ran then away to go play with the cats outside. Even my cat has more friends than me. FML

by owew / 12/09/2010 at 12:33am / Love

Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 4:40am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML

by 1fungi / 12/07/2010 at 12:25am / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 5:37am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of eleven months broke up with me, but adamantly insisted I didn't move out of our apartment, because he can't pay the rent alone. FML

by Jaded618 / 12/05/2010 at 7:48am / United States / Love

Today, I found out that my husband's secretary named her new baby boy after my husband. Everyone at the office thinks it's funny. My husband says it's a coincidence. FML

by momoffour / 12/05/2010 at 4:30am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

 Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 3:10am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

by fail / 12/05/2010 at 1:35am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 1:25am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 8:28pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

by Pita / 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were arguing about how he was too busy for me. During that conversation, he was texting his best friend and then called by his brother to drive him home. Instead of returning to finish our conversation, he left to prepare for his fishing trip with his mates tomorrow. FML

by anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 7:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love