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Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML

#4360788
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15031) - you deserved it (47056)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by accidentalslut (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out drinking with a female friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, She said 'Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?'. Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy at the bar. FML

#4356438
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (3674)

On 08/07/2009 at 5:43am - love - by ineedanotherdrink (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

#4356105
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77149) - you deserved it (6123)

On 08/07/2009 at 4:55am - love - by notsomuchinlove (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said I remind her of her dad. FML

#4346574
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70071) - you deserved it (6377)

On 08/06/2009 at 10:03pm - love - by Jeremy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24879) - you deserved it (93488)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML

#4337327
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40383) - you deserved it (2385)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by DravensMommy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

#4328474
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (34781)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read "stop banging my boyfriend". I haven't had anyone in over a year. FML

#4325647
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52394) - you deserved it (2448)

On 08/06/2009 at 1:28am - love - by gkline09 - United States

Today, I went with my fiancé to meet his parents. He was really sweet the whole way there, and once we got there he introduced me as 'the girl I'm going to marry'. His parents took one look at me and said, "Are you sure?" I laughed, because I thought they were joking. They weren't. FML

#4309429
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41976) - you deserved it (2507)

On 08/05/2009 at 2:17pm - love - by kelizabeth (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

#4305194
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7021) - you deserved it (74593)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML

#4285765
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43800) - you deserved it (6200)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:21pm - love - by Angry (woman) - United States

Today, I took my best friend out for a night in town, after he got dumped by his girlfriend recently. As we were walking around, we passed a group of hot women, a couple who were checking him out. Trying to be encouraging, I said "He's single!" and winked. One of the girls was his ex-girlfriend. FML

#4280491
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35859) - you deserved it (8868)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15pm - love - by badbestfriend (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was reading me a love poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said "shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML

#4277493
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56272) - you deserved it (4022)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:27am - love - by jemma (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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