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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74551) - you deserved it (5747)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (73127)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on a date with a guy, we were sitting in a restaurant having a fairly good conversation, when I had to go to the washroom. I left the table and when I came back, he was gone. Along with my wallet and car keys. FML

#4658498
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39101) - you deserved it (8908)

On 08/19/2009 at 3:44pm - love - by LifeFucksUsAll (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I flew 8 hours to visit my boyfriend. When I arrived at the airport, and he started taking long to show up, I checked my email to see the info. I hit the junk mail by accident and found his last 10 emails in there. He had broken up with me a week ago. FML

#4653267
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43034) - you deserved it (12985)

On 08/19/2009 at 11:03am - love - by MariadelMar (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML

#4651685
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34030) - you deserved it (7701)

On 08/19/2009 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, and for quite some time, my girlfriend has been telling me that she needs to go home each night to take care of her cat. Taking care of her cat is, it seems, an euphemism for having it off with her neighbor Tom since her cat died three months ago. FML

#4650437
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40564) - you deserved it (3096)

On 08/19/2009 at 5:08am - love - by catguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML

#4647409
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42721) - you deserved it (3020)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:55am - love - by fuuuudge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

#4644175
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66100) - you deserved it (3482)

On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

#4641799
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36490) - you deserved it (5029)

On 08/18/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by Lies (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12992) - you deserved it (62165)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

#4627317
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17175) - you deserved it (59400)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius

Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML

#4627124
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40637) - you deserved it (13489)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66121) - you deserved it (7627)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)



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