Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

by nuttedthefout / 04/28/2011 at 9:16am / Love

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

by ummno / 04/28/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML

by suckishbf / 04/27/2011 at 10:41pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML

by Sammy / 04/27/2011 at 1:07pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 4:19am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

by :( / 04/27/2011 at 2:54am / Love

Today, the ex-girlfriend I'm still in love with sent me an old picture with the caption, "I miss us." She looked beautiful and happy. Too bad I'm not the guy she's kissing in the picture. FML

by SadGuy / 04/26/2011 at 2:18am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

by Jade / 04/25/2011 at 9:49am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Love

Today, I dislocated my arm while trying to escape from underneath a flipped over kayak. Who saved me? My two brothers-in-law. Who didn't? My husband, because his "feet were hurting." FML

by crizzy / 04/23/2011 at 8:08pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend forgot to tell me about the all-night bender he went out on, and what he got up to with my best friend. But its okay; the Facebook pictures say it all. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2011 at 4:17am / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Love

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

by NathanPlays / 04/22/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

by AngryBirdman / 04/22/2011 at 1:53am / Love

Today, in order to avoid seeing my ex-girlfriend in class, I changed my schedule for "personal reasons." Apparently she had the same idea and changed her schedule as well. We now have all the same classes together. Before, we had just two. FML

by fatcat117 / 04/21/2011 at 9:53pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love