Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

by thelunarwolf / 03/01/2011 at 10:41pm / Love

Today, the day before I was going to move in with my army fiancé, he was told he would be deployed very soon. I can't pay for the apartment without him, and now have to move back in with my parents until he returns from active duty. FML

by Distraught / 03/01/2011 at 4:08pm / Reserved / Love

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

by cockalicious / 03/01/2011 at 12:29am / Love

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

by misswhiskers / 02/28/2011 at 6:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

by notagoodsign / 02/28/2011 at 5:55am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2011 at 12:41pm / Ireland / Love

Today, I told the guy I like to listen to a song that expressed how I felt about him. When he was done, I asked what he thought about it. He said it made him realize that his ex was the love of his life and that he wants to go back to her. FML

by sweet2u22 / 02/26/2011 at 9:30pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, a guy who I have known for a long time confessed his love to me. It would have been sweet except that he will become my stepbrother in 3 days. FML

by welcometothefamily / 02/26/2011 at 9:03am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I asked out a girl I like to a movie. She said "I hate babysitting." FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2011 at 7:17am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, I sent an email to a girl I like about how I really feel about her. She later replied "Real funny, tell Michael to change his password!" FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2011 at 1:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML

by OhDear / 02/24/2011 at 3:03pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Love

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML

by storyofmylife / 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I got a call from the police dept. My ex-boyfriend is applying for a job there, and they called me to ask if he was "a good candidate for a police officer." I had to start my day off by saying great, nice things about the guy who broke my heart and completely disrespected me. FML

by karmaplz / 02/23/2011 at 9:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.