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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (28875)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML

#13206157
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46150) - you deserved it (6941)

On 09/26/2010 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, the guy I like recommended I buy this computer game. Wanting to impress him, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now the proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and he can't stop laughing. FML

#13205814
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9900) - you deserved it (35526)

On 09/26/2010 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, telling him he needed to be more responsible, and stop relying on me for everything. When I told him to leave, he told me he needed some gas money. FML

#13205428
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (5415)

On 09/26/2010 at 3:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was unsuccessful at a job interview, and she didn't want to be with someone who "has no future". She's unemployed too. FML

#13167469
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35184) - you deserved it (3901)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:18am - love - by man2 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

#13153122
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35253) - you deserved it (3576)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML

#13111932
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32564) - you deserved it (4067)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

#13109561
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (2695)

On 09/19/2010 at 3:31am - love - by messyfamily (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband told me he had been cheating on me for the past 8 months. Twenty minutes later, he asked me what was for dinner. FML

#13102808
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39018) - you deserved it (2941)

On 09/18/2010 at 7:13pm - love - by fmldailyyy - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend who evidently stood me up. I waited so long, the security came up and asked me to leave, because I was scaring the staff. FML

#13081753
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30022) - you deserved it (3704)

On 09/17/2010 at 12:43am - love - by anime_love - United States

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

#13079046
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38212) - you deserved it (3533)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my ex-boyfriend's mother came up to me at school, yelling and causing a scene in front of everyone for breaking her son's heart. We broke up over a year ago because he was cheating on me. FML

#13073501
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38646) - you deserved it (2444)

On 09/16/2010 at 12:23pm - love - by whatabitch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from this girl I really like. Surprised, as I never get anything other than a text from her, I answered. All I heard were rustling sounds. She had pocket dialed me. FML

#13070669
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (4885)

On 09/16/2010 at 3:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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