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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML

#5385782
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21556) - you deserved it (38117)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:02am - love - by anonymouss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML

#5383572
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6799) - you deserved it (52493)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by newlydumped (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML

#5369029
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55575) - you deserved it (3330)

On 09/20/2009 at 9:21am - love - by dreamdude (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 mins, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said "So do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray everynight that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

#5364824
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32037) - you deserved it (3406)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was excited to see my ex-girlfriend. We had broken up while I was in Iraq and I wanted to try to get her back. I spent my first day back looking for a place to live while her and her new boyfriend got it on as I slept. I had chosen that apartment for us and paid for that bed. FML

#5364542
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34544) - you deserved it (4804)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:04am - love - by isuckatlyfe (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML

#5345954
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (8547)

On 09/19/2009 at 2:35am - love - by sensativenose (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm in my fourth month of training in the US Navy. I'm 3000 miles from home. I joined to give my wife a better life. Since I've been gone, she decided that she liked being single. FML

#5345779
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38325) - you deserved it (3643)

On 09/19/2009 at 2:18am - love - by singlesailor (man) - United States (California)

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

#5345051
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31827) - you deserved it (30903)

On 09/19/2009 at 1:22am - love - by Pierceew (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

#5337974
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41069) - you deserved it (5979)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by luvizwar (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML

#5336281
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15572) - you deserved it (50375)

On 09/18/2009 at 6:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was trying to look cute in front of this really nice guy. I sure hope he thinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards and knocking over an old man is cute. FML

#5325412
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11058) - you deserved it (26940)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:14am - love - by mudafkrmas (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years because he hadn't "popped" the question. I've just spent the last 2 months helping him plan the perfect proposal. FML

#5312576
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43046) - you deserved it (3115)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:44pm - love - by Sadtimes - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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