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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I started work as the head engineer for a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of my team, in particular the environmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her virginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#7565931
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11612) - you deserved it (33917)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - love - by CivE (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my fiancée texts me while out at a restaurant. She told me that she saw one of my high school friends there, and that he asked "How's Douglas doing?". She then asked me who Douglas is. Douglas is my legal name. We've been together for over three years and she didn't know. FML

#7564897
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24898) - you deserved it (9529)

On 01/25/2010 at 6:06am - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML

#7560718
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (6514)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:33am - love - by Phoenix0614 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML

#7552135
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54004) - you deserved it (2129)

On 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm - love - by weddingbells (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML

#7551805
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (3946)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by dan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

#7545764
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30785) - you deserved it (4749)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:32pm - love - by firstdate (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from the girl I'd really like to date to meet up for drinks. Excited, I walked out my front door, slipped on a patch of ice, and dislocated my shoulder. She won't go out on a date with me now because I "ditched her". FML

#7534159
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26654) - you deserved it (2497)

On 01/24/2010 at 12:01am - love - by pogodrake (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, when I logged onto facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML

#7531653
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21531) - you deserved it (8728)

On 01/23/2010 at 10:29pm - love - by lmiller (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML

#7523418
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (6879)

On 01/23/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Aphrodite - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

#7518795
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32966) - you deserved it (5684)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the boy I've liked for the past 8 years asked me out and then dumped me when he realized that I was taller than he was. FML

#7518203
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30885) - you deserved it (2891)

On 01/23/2010 at 10:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I planned my own wedding down to the very last detail, including favours for my guests, the sweets buffet and the bouquet of flower brooches I want. Too bad I'm still single. FML

#7516892
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9287) - you deserved it (32922)

On 01/23/2010 at 5:27am - love - by SINGLE (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating an icecream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

#7516271
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28330) - you deserved it (7162)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:38am - love - by weirdlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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