Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

by drunkluv / 04/11/2011 at 10:58pm / Australia / Love

Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML

by sandyhome / 04/11/2011 at 11:20am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

by torny>horny / 04/10/2011 at 12:42am / United States / Love

Today, I was reading a blog post by a girl that I really like. In the post, it said, "I know I'm not beautiful." I told her that I thought it wasn't true at all. She responded by crying hysterically and asking me why I would say that. It turned out that it actually said, "I know I'm beautiful." FML

by Arran / 04/09/2011 at 8:24pm / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

by Tweety / 04/09/2011 at 7:40am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I went on a date for the first time in eight months. He didn't make a move. I then asked if we were on a date. He said, "I don't know, I guess." I can't tell either. FML

by confused / 04/09/2011 at 4:08am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that my now-ex slept with his not-so-ex the day before our wedding. FML

by WhatTheBleep / 04/09/2011 at 12:02am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I finally confessed my feelings to my long time crush. He was the only one I've been able to muster up the courage to open up to. He replied "lmao" and hasn't texted back since. FML

by notfunny / 04/08/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

by hopeless / 04/08/2011 at 11:03am / Love

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

by Payte / 04/08/2011 at 1:31am / Love

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

by notacreeper / 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm / Love

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love