Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I walked into a T-Mobile store to get a new phone. I wanted all of my numbers on my new phone, but the customer service rep had to transfer them. He said jokingly, "I understand. You don't want to lose your girlfriend's number." My girlfriend and I broke up two days ago. FML

#5829686
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21993) - you deserved it (6733)

On 10/14/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML

#5827386
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (2318)

On 10/14/2009 at 11:19am - love - by DumpedHisAss (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

#5815085
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29738) - you deserved it (3236)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

#5813153
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28883) - you deserved it (2304)

On 10/13/2009 at 7:07am - love - by quietsleeper (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7866) - you deserved it (100294)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a mental break down. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was "I think we were better off as friends." FML

#5810614
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26767) - you deserved it (4390)

On 10/13/2009 at 1:01am - love - by Schmolly (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML

#5798197
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25993) - you deserved it (2825)

On 10/12/2009 at 3:31pm - love - by Sucker (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML

#5793805
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34564) - you deserved it (2984)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:03am - love - by Jennagirl (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had to crown the homecoming queen, a responsibility of mine as class president. It just happened to be that the queen is my ex-girlfriend that I still love, escorted by her new boyfriend. FML

#5786239
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33549) - you deserved it (3414)

On 10/11/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was texting a girl that I've liked for some time. When I asked her what she was doing, she replied "texting and p.s. I love you". I replied by telling her my feelings for her. Turns out "p.s. I love you" was the name of the movie she was watching with her friends. FML

#5779716
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34172) - you deserved it (10237)

On 10/11/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by pinoyson (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally had time to talk with my boyfriend. We had a nice long conversation, which included him telling me how much I meant to him and that we really need to see each other more often. He concluded the speech twenty minutes later with "Which is why I really hope we can stay friends". FML

#5774015
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28302) - you deserved it (2390)

On 10/11/2009 at 10:53am - love - by Oh_Well (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. They not only brought along embarrassing childhood photos of myself, they'd 'accidentally' placed an intimate photo of me and my ex-girlfriend with them. That was their subtle way of telling everyone they prefer my ex. FML

#5772733
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33386) - you deserved it (2647)

On 10/11/2009 at 7:25am - love - by hateparents (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML

#5772625
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31654) - you deserved it (1812)

On 10/11/2009 at 6:54am - love - by noo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: