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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML

#21472475
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28048) - you deserved it (1785)

On 09/25/2015 at 1:31am - love - by hunting7waves - United States (Iowa)

Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML

#21472460
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24855) - you deserved it (2731)

On 09/25/2015 at 12:43am - love - by anon - United States (Florida)

Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML

#21472139
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35206) - you deserved it (1796)

On 09/24/2015 at 7:52am - love - by lovedoesnotexist (man) - Belgium

Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML

#21471529
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26410) - you deserved it (1770)

On 09/22/2015 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my boyfriend and I got in a fight about which is better: Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. We aren't speaking. FML

Today, I had finally summoned the courage to break up with my boyfriend, something I've needed to do for a long time. Right before my speech, he presented me with tickets to my favorite band a month from now. FML

#21471255
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (5623)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend at lunch when a group of guys came over. They started calling her a whore and a bunch of other shit, so I cussed them out. Turns out she was not only cheating on me, but all the other guys too. FML

#21471177
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (2090)

On 09/21/2015 at 8:24pm - love - by Jgfenix - United States (Colorado)

Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML

#21470789
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22421) - you deserved it (2014)

On 09/20/2015 at 10:15pm - love - by ohforchristssake (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she's been avoiding kissing me lately. Apparently she had a dream that one of my teeth caught on her braces, and all of her teeth got pulled out like a string of pearls. It seems unlikely she will be un-scarred any time soon. FML

#21470040
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22215) - you deserved it (1540)

On 09/18/2015 at 10:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

#21469892
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21185) - you deserved it (8869)

On 09/18/2015 at 1:30pm - love - by shitfaced (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic and trick me into missing my flight, so he could spend another day with me before I have to return to Asia for work. There is nothing romantic about spending 2 hours trying to sort out a new international itinerary with Delta's automated menus. FML

Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML

#21469392
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24282) - you deserved it (1802)

On 09/17/2015 at 12:16am - love - by guest - Argentina (Distrito Federal)



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