Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML

#21324827
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29858) - you deserved it (3106)

On 12/26/2014 at 6:06pm - love - by GOAWAY - United States (Missouri)

Today, my obsessive stalker of an ex found my girlfriend on Facebook and sent her a message saying just ":)". For some reason I'll never understand, she took this as a sign that I'd just slept with my ex. Now I'm single, and my ex is probably planning her next move. FML

#21324775
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (2289)

On 12/26/2014 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML

#21324667
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32956) - you deserved it (5121)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at a Christmas party, a cute girl was making a show of standing under some mistletoe. As I walked over, she quickly moved away in the opposite direction. FML

#21324253
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28564) - you deserved it (3506)

On 12/25/2014 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my ex boyfriend got married to the girl he told me was his sister. FML

#21323420
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32968) - you deserved it (2493)

On 12/24/2014 at 4:49pm - love - by single - United States (Utah)

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

#21322698
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38773) - you deserved it (4275)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:32pm - love - by both are dimwitted - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML

#21322691
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29549) - you deserved it (2505)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML

#21322620
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34067) - you deserved it (3072)

On 12/23/2014 at 10:24am - love - by got any coupons? - United States

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39373) - you deserved it (4372)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML

#21322112
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36451) - you deserved it (2709)

On 12/22/2014 at 2:11pm - love - by koolkat9 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I decorated my boyfriend's house for Christmas as a surprise, just in time for him and his family to come home. Also just in time for him to tell me he's Jewish. FML

#21322002
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32655) - you deserved it (12134)

On 12/22/2014 at 10:04am - love - by cwhitney7 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33343) - you deserved it (6128)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: