Today, I realized I didn't want to come home from a business trip because I like my job more than my husband. I hate my job. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2016 at 11:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML

by Nightsong / 03/29/2016 at 10:54pm / Germany (Bayern) / Love

Today, after telling a friend I was contemplating asking a girl to prom, my friend took my phone, told me to have some balls, and texted the girl asking her to prom. She said no, because I asked her over text instead of in person. She refuses to believe I didn't send the text. FML

by Omydayz / 03/29/2016 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was on my run, running past the home of the very attractive guy in my English class. This time he was outside. As I was running I casually waved, he waved back, but because I was distracted, I didn't notice a rock on the sidewalk and ended up tripping and pantsing myself. FML

by TipsyTj / 03/29/2016 at 9:05am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, I gave the guy I've been seeing a copy of my newly published book, because I know he loves writing. He started reading and commented on how amazing it was. Then he gave it back. He didn't realize it was a gift. My awkward self didn't correct him. I'd written him a sweet letter inside. FML

by sigh / 03/29/2016 at 12:57am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I met a girl who was just as socially anxious as me. We spent the whole night staring at each other, then quickly looking away when the other person saw. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2016 at 4:23pm / United States / Love

Today, my ex-boyfriend announced he was engaged. We broke up last night. FML

by whereismyring / 03/27/2016 at 8:47pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went on my first date. When we got to the restaurant he started hitting on the waitress. As soon as we sat down he took out his iPod and watched a video, then took out his phone and went on Tinder. Then about a minute before the bill came he dissapeared to the bathroom for 20 minutes. FML

by hollyglambert / 03/27/2016 at 1:21pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating after she read some of my messages I sent to an old female friend. Apparently I'm very flirty with her. I showed her the same kind of messages that I sent to my guy friends as well. Now I'm apparently gay and cheating. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 12:46am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love

Today, my fiance said his cat is going to be my maid of honor at our wedding. FML

by Desiree_lianne / 03/26/2016 at 5:02pm / United States / Love

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 11:36am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, someone told my girlfriend that I cheated on her. I've never cheated in my life. Instead of talking to me about it, she made a big post on Facebook about what a dick I am. Pretty much all the comments went along the lines of "What a bastard." and "Ugh, men are pigs." FML

by ameremanapparently / 03/26/2016 at 8:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my only friend got banned from my house, all because she kissed her boyfriend in front of me. I'm 16, but apparently I can't handle seeing a kiss. FML

by madbabynoel / 03/25/2016 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Love