Today, my boyfriend was so drunk at a New Years party that he approached me and asked me who I was. FML

by anon / 01/02/2016 at 10:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I celebrated my 4-year anniversary with my girlfriend. We didn't have sex and we didn't even kiss. All I got to do was cuddle the stuffed Minion she got me for Christmas. FML

by no love / 01/01/2016 at 5:41pm / United States / Love

Today, I was talking to myself in the bathroom to remind myself of what chores I need to do. My husband overheard me and is now convinced that I was on the phone with someone. No amount of proof, logic or reasoning can convince him that I'm not cheating on him. FML

by ardea_alba / 01/01/2016 at 3:27pm / Russian Federation (Sverdlovsk) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again! FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 5:33am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my girlfriend let me stay over at her house for the first time. I went into her room only to find out she's obsessed with the Joker and has a bunch of posters and toys of him. I am deathly afraid of clowns. FML

by ScaredOfClowns / 12/31/2015 at 11:40am / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I told her that I'd never watched The Lion King. FML

by hakuna_matata / 12/30/2015 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out my wife has been taking "love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2015 at 9:15am / Love

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has a Facebook account. He said he didn't have one. Apparently he's not divorced after all. FML

by debiebs / 12/29/2015 at 7:04am / Brazil (Bahia) / Love

Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML

by Alien / 12/29/2015 at 6:07am / Switzerland / Love

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

by _schaden_freude / 12/27/2015 at 12:31pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Love

Today, my father is really enjoying the iPhone my mother gave him for Christmas. He's enjoying it so much that he's already installed all sorts of dating apps. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 7:38pm / Brazil (Santa Catarina) / Love

Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2015 at 6:47pm / Australia (South Australia) / Love

Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML

by smyp / 12/24/2015 at 12:34pm / Lithuania / Love