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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML

#21406043
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33088) - you deserved it (2118)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:27am - love - by that one anon - United States (California)

Today, I finally reached the point where it became necessary to give my boyfriend an ultimatum: either clip your toenails, or we aren't having sex. FML

#21405555
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28984) - you deserved it (2818)

On 05/06/2015 at 8:50am - love - by anon - United States (Kansas)

Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML

#21405053
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35592) - you deserved it (3146)

On 05/05/2015 at 10:44am - love - by inheritance (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

#21403147
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34310) - you deserved it (3808)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

#21402837
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (11323)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:24am - love - by Forever alone - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, all because he thought I was a communist, a sinner, and a terrorist, simply because I think the gay rights are OK, because I agree with some feminists, and because I got blonde highlights in my hair. FML

#21402099
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31911) - you deserved it (5443)

On 04/29/2015 at 11:31pm - love - by Confusedblonde - United States (Ohio)

Today, after waiting for 2 weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

#21401631
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26149) - you deserved it (3591)

On 04/29/2015 at 7:11am - love - by xxlenalunaxx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I dressed up sexy to cheer up my boyfriend after a bad day at work. Instead of being cheered up, he accused me of dressing up that way for the male DJs at the radio station where I work. FML

#21401112
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27360) - you deserved it (2669)

On 04/28/2015 at 11:00am - love - by koalaburr - United States (California)

Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML

#21400981
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33397) - you deserved it (3745)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:32am - love - by Groomzilla? - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I broke up with for not putting any effort into the relationship asked if he could make it up to me by taking me out to lunch. He stood me up. FML

#21400557
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31508) - you deserved it (6220)

On 04/27/2015 at 10:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

#21399850
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33779) - you deserved it (3410)

On 04/26/2015 at 4:19am - love - by fuck you (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



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