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Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML

#21322691
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29517) - you deserved it (2501)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML

#21322620
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34033) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/23/2014 at 10:24am - love - by got any coupons? - United States

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39306) - you deserved it (4366)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML

#21322112
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36412) - you deserved it (2706)

On 12/22/2014 at 2:11pm - love - by koolkat9 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I decorated my boyfriend's house for Christmas as a surprise, just in time for him and his family to come home. Also just in time for him to tell me he's Jewish. FML

#21322002
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31344) - you deserved it (11479)

On 12/22/2014 at 10:04am - love - by cwhitney7 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31961) - you deserved it (5627)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

Today, as I was saying bye to my girlfriend, I said "see ya later, alligator." She took offense because she thought I called her ugly. FML

#21321170
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30311) - you deserved it (3669)

On 12/20/2014 at 10:37pm - love - by sexualpopcorn - United States (California)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML

#21320982
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28457) - you deserved it (3436)

On 12/20/2014 at 3:45pm - love - by KalaKa (man) - United States

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

#21320716
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31885) - you deserved it (4161)

On 12/20/2014 at 2:33am - love - by qyx3lmnop24 - United States (California)

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

#21319982
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34669) - you deserved it (4318)

On 12/18/2014 at 9:39pm - love - by I warned him - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

#21319715
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (4618)

On 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by peteto818 (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends. They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on. I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me. FML

#21319659
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (3114)

On 12/18/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)



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