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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML

#21417868
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (3425)

On 05/30/2015 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend bought two tickets for a cruise to the Bahamas. Too bad the second ticket isn't for me. I guess her ex-boyfriend will have a wonderful time with her. FML

#21417626
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28714) - you deserved it (2110)

On 05/29/2015 at 2:28pm - love - by probably single (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

#21417560
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (3704)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:05am - love - by GlueAndCarrots - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML

#21417526
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30223) - you deserved it (7850)

On 05/29/2015 at 9:04am - love - by Headless (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

#21416018
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (2452)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:12am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML

#21414249
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (2868)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML

#21412638
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (2158)

On 05/19/2015 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML

#21411475
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (1973)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:47pm - love - by hobo - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took my family to Disneyland. My husband had more fun than my five year old daughter. He was hitting on the princesses. FML

#21411433
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29029) - you deserved it (2670)

On 05/17/2015 at 12:08pm - love - by creepedoutmom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my little sister knocking on my door. Today's my birthday, so I thought she'd surprise me with something. Instead, she just asked me, "How's it feel to be a year older and still alone?" I just turned 20. The truth hurts. FML



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