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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

#21422896
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (2625)

On 06/08/2015 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found the courage to tell my parents about my boyfriend. They reacted by simply lecturing me for an hour about how much he'll ruin my life and how much they don't like him. They haven't met him yet. FML

#21422783
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25616) - you deserved it (2217)

On 06/08/2015 at 11:08am - love - by howard1954 - United States (California)

Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

#21422583
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23906) - you deserved it (3241)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:35pm - love - by firstdategoals - United States

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

#21421711
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30915) - you deserved it (5514)

On 06/06/2015 at 10:37am - love - by sad and hungry (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

#21421518
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (4981)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

#21421148
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28177) - you deserved it (2000)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I made out with a boy for the first time. I belched into his mouth. FML

#21420681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (6200)

On 06/04/2015 at 12:21pm - love - by NoMoreTacoBell - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML

#21419795
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31160) - you deserved it (2978)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:02pm - love - by Jrex89 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I took part in a bouquet toss. The "single ladies" consisted of myself and several girls under the age of ten. I'm 31. FML

#21419646
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26761) - you deserved it (2730)

On 06/02/2015 at 10:59am - love - by skid (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a beautiful, heart-felt text from my boyfriend detailing all the ways he loved me. He probably should have emphasized just how big his heart is though because he sent the text to three other women too. Thank you, group messaging. FML

#21419508
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31023) - you deserved it (2388)

On 06/02/2015 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

#21418659
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24809) - you deserved it (5133)

On 05/31/2015 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML

#21418496
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (6067)

On 05/31/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a "phobia" of monogamy. But don't worry, she defensively assured me she's never ever cheated on me, even though I never said she had, so I guess that's okay then. FML

#21417890
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24508) - you deserved it (2052)

On 05/30/2015 at 1:40am - love - by well then (man) - United States (Georgia)



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