Love: Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face....

By Zamaria - 02/10/2009 22:23 - France

Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 737

You deserved it 3 354

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By XxEmoWolfiexX - 24/05/2012 21:18 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 862

You deserved it 2 619

Mr Whiskers

By Anonymous - 29/05/2020 14:00

Today, one of my friends was playing with a laser pointer. When he pointed it in my direction, I swatted at it away like it was a bug. Apparently, I'm part cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 332

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 205

You deserved it 3 615

Scaredy cat

By Luke - 15/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 249

You deserved it 7 310

By meowmeow - 21/09/2010 04:38 - Australia

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 776

You deserved it 31 273

By scratchpost - 28/10/2010 12:07 - United States

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 917

You deserved it 4 621

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 506

You deserved it 28 622

Just a prank, bro!

By Scared - 13/07/2019 02:30

Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 3 008

Asshole

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 20:38 - Netherlands - Mierlo

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 135

You deserved it 3 230

whyevenbother 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 9:54

he was right.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Saturday 3 October 2009 10:11

Well, I think it would be funny to shine the laser pointer at his balls the next time he sleeps naked.

Comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Saturday 3 October 2009 9:52

rawrr >:3

Gia0896 0

Monday 5 October 2009 3:11

AWESOME! Thats a cool idea. Im gonna try that on my brother. :)

BrutalFbomb 5

Thursday 21 October 2010 8:53

I'm gonna buy one just to do that lmao!!!

Angi95 3

Sunday 26 June 2011 3:04

at least you married a guy with a sense of humor.

whyevenbother 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 9:54

he was right.

null_fml 11

Saturday 3 October 2009 10:27

Yep, that's what I was gonna say too. He was right.

BenignScientists 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 14:46

I concur

Reyo 2

Sunday 4 October 2009 4:38

I chuckled.

ifinsane 6

Friday 28 October 2011 23:38

That's what you get for having a cat.

michael_Hardman 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 9:57

priceless...thats something i would do

bedspring_kiss54 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 10:05

Ouch!

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Saturday 3 October 2009 10:11

Well, I think it would be funny to shine the laser pointer at his balls the next time he sleeps naked.

megusta3 5

Monday 1 October 2012 23:51

connorhperkins 9

Monday 13 June 2016 6:48

That's just cruel and unusual

Antivirus_fml 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 10:21

But then she wont be able to have kids. :p

King_of_Kings 3

Saturday 3 October 2009 10:34

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Funny shit right here people!

Witchcraft_fml 4

Saturday 3 October 2009 10:39

At least you were awakened from sleep by raw, physical, rough animal play. Yum. :] Was he spanked for being a bad boy?

EmilyCecile 0

Friday 18 March 2011 2:07

oh ha i see what u did there. nice :)

jdog69 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 10:52

that IS funny

napero 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 11:36

And he took a video of it and posted on youtube? I want to see that >: D

Keywords

Teenagers Friends Love Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Work Revenge Awkward Parents Relatable Weird Miscellaneous Health Job interview Facebook Social Media Jealousy Relationship advice AITA Kids Shoes Annoying Roommate Music Names Customers Education Capitalism

The Top

Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 246

You deserved it 589

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 337

You deserved it 15 970

The Top

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 395

You deserved it 9 517

Today, while washing the dishes at work I was told to go put some things into the big freezer at the back of the store. While doing so, the door closed behind me, so naturally I pushed it, only to have my wet hands freeze to the door. I yelled to my manager for 10 minutes before help came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 468

You deserved it 5 701

Today, my coworker cornered me in the office bathroom and insisted that, because she's been watching me, I use the bathroom too quickly and must not be washing my hands, and that I have to wash them from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 291

You deserved it 1 238

Today, my nose was really stuffy. I heard somewhere that inhaling tea steam clears up the nose. While reading a magazine I inhaled my cup of green tea steam, without knowing that slowly I was moving my cup closer to my nose. Hot tea was sucked into my left nostril and burned the inside badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 091

You deserved it 35 890

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 921

You deserved it 11 896

Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 328

You deserved it 53 970