Love: Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl....

By lageste - 20/11/2008 04:37 - France

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 187

You deserved it 5 315

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Nuts

By Painful - 05/10/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 921

You deserved it 39 994

By smokin - 26/07/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 091

You deserved it 5 374

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 603

You deserved it 15 126

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 769

You deserved it 71 588

By Pain - 28/06/2010 23:37 - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 000

You deserved it 72 184

The show must go on

By gabess - 04/01/2009 01:59 - France

Today, to amuse my girlfriend, I put on her sexy nightshirt and went out on the balcony for a smoke, all while shaking my booty about in front of her window. She laughed, until one of her neighbors shouted, "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 951

You deserved it 10 608

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 441

Trash the lot

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 16:00

Today, I was sleeping with my girlfriend on my parents' bed naked, just to wake up to find out she got her period, on fresh, new sheets they bought the other day. As I finished scrubbing it and cleaning, she accidentally left a burning cigarette on the sheets so now it has a burn hole too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 2 776

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 593

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 20:27 - United States

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 643

You deserved it 36 721

Brokenwings92 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 22:06

and you didn't feel your crotch BURNING???

MizzMe123 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 1:34

And right theres a new meaning to the word " firecrotch" .

Comments

Brokenwings92 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 22:06

and you didn't feel your crotch BURNING???

jennawheaton 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 2:19

mahah

XoacHale 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 5:46

YDI. cockiness.

squigglyshark 0

Monday 1 June 2009 4:29

I don't see the fail here. Worst case it's a funny story to tell in bars later.

randomxtremely 0

Monday 15 June 2009 5:40

don't waste ur time on dates. watch what goes around u...and urself

n530411351 9

Wednesday 5 August 2009 7:02

that damn gonorrhea...

DynamicDave 11

Sunday 23 August 2009 8:51

Who says 'trousers'?

Lolzords 11

Sunday 20 September 2009 5:26

Brits and anyone who learned British English instead of American English.

MizzMe123 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 1:34

And right theres a new meaning to the word " firecrotch" .

stewpididiot 11

Wednesday 3 March 2010 6:24

ydi for smoking... or for hitting on a smoker.

greendaygirl112 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 5:09

sryy but did u get anythin from her

iFacade 5

Thursday 15 April 2010 21:20

that's hot.

leslielove11 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 20:37

firecrotch 

Keywords

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Today, my son claimed credit for a money-saving scheme at work that belonged to a colleague. He claimed this to someone in very upper management, but when they tried to ask follow-up questions, he obviously had no idea how to answer, admitted his lie and was sacked on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 422

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I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 86

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 27 376

You deserved it 2 276

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 157

You deserved it 7 710

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I agree, your life sucks 10 398

You deserved it 1 032

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I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 292

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I agree, your life sucks 6 397

You deserved it 609

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149 322

You deserved it 13 802