Love: Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to...

By Anonymous - 05/09/2014 21:54 - United States - Conway

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 630

You deserved it 19 256

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By PanFace - 13/10/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 115

You deserved it 121 308

Peace and quiet

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 18:00

Today, after a long and stressful week, all I wanted was some time to myself with a few beers and a good video game. My girlfriend apparently disliked this, because she started blasting Cardi B, ran the vacuum behind me, and poured my beer down the sink when I used the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 207

By badsinger - 04/06/2010 09:38 - New Zealand

Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 063

You deserved it 15 533

By Popscene - 26/09/2012 09:06 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 373

You deserved it 2 930

By a single fuck - 23/05/2013 16:40 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 053

You deserved it 3 101

Ironic, isn't it?

By KC. - 25/04/2012 20:06 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 477

You deserved it 8 736

What do you want from me?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 22:00

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 142

You deserved it 44 609

Get your act together

By Z…… - 14/11/2012 00:43 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 761

You deserved it 35 980

Scapegoat with fries

By Juan Carr - 02/02/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, after an argument, my wife goes out to cook her curly fries in our airfryer. The thing beeps after 15 minutes; my wife goes out and announces, "Oh that's great." "What's up babes?" says I. "I put the fries in the wrong compartment. It's all your fault, you wound me up earlier." she says. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 122

WCARlover 34

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:20

I may be a girl but I'm on your side...sounds like she was being too sensitive

Welshite 39

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:31

#7: I would label myself as a feminist with an emphasis on equality, but I'm smart enough to know the difference between a joke and an insult. Besides, to "put [him] in [his] place" sounds abusive and controlling. That's not feminism.

Comments

urdirtyolduncle 15

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:17

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

urdirtyolduncle 15

Saturday 6 September 2014 6:04

Damn I guess people don't know or like Biggie

blinked_281 29

Saturday 6 September 2014 7:31

Still. It's just a song. I'm sure OP does respect his girlfriend and women in general. His girlfriend honestly seems a little dramatic.

JocelynKaulitz 28

Saturday 6 September 2014 9:48

That's not being dramatic, Im not sure many girls would like it if they was treated like a stereotypical woman.

tackblog 14

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

thevelociraptor 31

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:44

I can just see your future girlfriend now... Wait where did she go? Oh right, to a guy who actually respects women.

blazingshot147 19

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:47

Either the blood to your brain went to your boobs, or you need to get a ladder to catch that sarcasm that went over your head...

23lf 16

Saturday 6 September 2014 7:31

You obviously don't know what sarcasm is do you?

Helpfulman 17

Saturday 6 September 2014 9:03

Shit, no guys that respect women get bitches.

BBeffedmylife 28

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:18

There's nothing I love more than a good domestic woman joke.. Thanks for the fml, OP. It made me chuckle!

WCARlover 34

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:20

I may be a girl but I'm on your side...sounds like she was being too sensitive

Brandi_Faith 33

Saturday 6 September 2014 6:50

I completely agree. If a guy says a comment like that he is joking around. Unless OP treats his girlfriend like an object and degrades her then I don't get why she would be seriously mad.

TanzWolf 26

Saturday 6 September 2014 7:46

I say leave her. If she can't take a joke at all or understand that just because that song played on the radio, it doesn't mean it's you, then you don't deserve it. If she starts arguments over that, she sounds like a bitch. Sorry, OP.

Arwen_Evenstar 37

Saturday 6 September 2014 10:53

I agree it was an overreaction to a joke, but that joke is far, far too overused by 13 year old boys to be funny. It just sucks as any type of joke.

Marie54321 19

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:21

She's overreacting OP Just tell her you had no idea that that song would be on

xpsychocatladyx 15

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:22

advice... good make up sex and you make the sandwich

GoBigRed 6

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:29

Nothing better than getting in trouble for something entirely not your fault...

Dreamsorrow93 24

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:30

Did she make you a sandwich?

WCARlover 34

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:31

You sound fun.

SaharaZinc 14

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:31

Sounds like she's one of those dramatic types that likes to keep the fight going. You made a little joke, and had no way of knowing that the song would be on. Your girl needs to chill, OP.