Minor threat

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 12:33 - Australia - Fairfield

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I'm now afraid to argue with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 476
You deserved it 3 443
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Top comments

zebraumicornz 6

Doesn't that juice stain! I would get some stain remover if I was you...

165 6
lolmigosh 15

I would keep my eye on her if I were you.

130 5

Comments

CALLAHAN4 0

this is honestly one of the lamest fmls ever.

10 4
lolmigosh 15

I would keep my eye on her if I were you.

130 5
pil_84 9

Just make sure you aren't a bad person and you'll be safe.

12 14
XxDevilxXGt 26

I would keep two eyes on the juice in the sunlight when she's cutting it, because then you can see it squirt amazingly like you've never seen before. :D and Dexter is amazing.

6 10
EnterSandman_fml 20

If you piss her off she just might be keeping your eye on herself as well :)

20 2
hamrtym 15

You don't fit the code so you're safe... Right?

7 0
kj51 5

I like that show but now dexter is such a pussy

2 1
zebraumicornz 6

Doesn't that juice stain! I would get some stain remover if I was you...

165 6
annie_nk 22

It stains like crazy. Anything it touches too. So stain remover is a must.

12 1
CCSA 12

3- If this was the first thing that came to your mind after reading this FML, I truly admire your calmness...

29 2
tsent8 15

And hide your whole grains cause they slicing erryone out here.

11 0
jordanhraye 18

Love that show. I don't think you should be afraid of anything unless your girlfriend has a history with violence!

73 4
KaeporaGaebora 4

Exactly, her dreams of becoming a blood splatterologist doesn't make her an automatic serial killer. Or maybe it does.

29 2
HKCgrimmjow 15

No... No I really believe it does, as well as pomegranates are evil fruits.

3 9
Meettitan 14

If pomegranates were evil, wouldn't she be doing us a justice by doing away with them?

20 1
killkittenxx 3

Not if by cutting them, she's releasing their true evil.

4 0
justonecomment 2

Op should be safe as long as his girlfriend doesn't witness her mother being chopped into pieces by chainsaw wielding Cubans

5 0
Carmstro 13

4, a history of violence has to start somewhere.

5 0
TheOnlyKittyKat 15

Don't let her anywhere near the kitchen. That's where all the knives and your meals are cooked.

29 8
lizzi02 13

I didn't know you could cook knives....

43 4
aw3som3sauc3 10

It's fine #5, Dexter is the good guy... A strange twist, I know...

7 0
Futacy 29

This is where parental control comes in.

6 53
MichellinMan 20

I'm not exactly sure what you thought when you read this but it clearly said that it is his girlfriend. I don't know what the parents could do to solve this.

19 1
mfischer 17

I believe what he meant was that you could use the parental control function to block Dexter, but that's really not a good idea. Trying to control your girlfriends life to the point of not allowing her to watch what she wants to would be ridiculous to the point of stupidity.

10 0
eddeeezzyy 19

You're acting as if the juice is going to kill you or something. I think you're kinda overreacting, OP.

61 12
Futacy 29

38- Then flames would engulf the Moon, a fourth dimension would open up, and Justin Bieber would become the empiror of our new post-apoctalyptic wasteland.

19 1
MichellinMan 20

Well it all depends on what she's doing. If she's laughing like a maniac running through the rooms squirting juice all over the place then no, he's not overreacting. But if she's just squirting the juice in the sink or something along those lines purely for entertainment, then yea OP is overreacting.

8 1
delevish 3

Maybe it's just me, but I got the impression that he's concerned about her new found fascination with carving up something that gushes red juice. I didn't really get the impression that he's scared of the juice, just the fact that she loves cutting things up.

15 0
valvmonster 9

I'm pretty sure that's exactly the point everyone's missing here, 65!

4 0
loloalltheway 23

So? That doesn't mean anything... It is a show and your girlfriend is not a psychopath I assume so you have nothing to worry about.

14 6
xrudeboyrock 29

The fruit in the opening credits is a blood orange - the more you know!

80 3
pradip 26

Ripen up OP, there is nothing to be afraid of.

43 13
sweetmama88 6

You really need to get major help my friend! Your comments that don't make any sense!

1 26
aw3som3sauc3 10

"ripen" was the joke, he was using wordplay. Subtle, but rather enjoyable use of it too, if you ask me...

10 1
brackaman 18

Holy crap. A pradip comment that got thumbs up? I always thought people down voted pradip's comments regardless of quality as part of some unspoken fml tradition.

9 1
The_Honey_Badger 17

That was a really rotten joke 11.

0 0