Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23287) - you deserved it (5037)

On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Top comments

Fuck... I wonder what you do to the alarm clock in the mornings.

#2 - On 10/20/2012 at 8:34pm by pennies_lane

See in context

That's sure a handy way to wake you up

#3 - On 10/20/2012 at 8:34pm by Death_Hoe_Inn

See in context




Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.

Top of the page

You must have an FML account to comment.

Don't have an FML account yet ? Sign up to FML!

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: