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Today, my husband and I put our 9 month old twins to bed and went outside to enjoy a very rare few minutes with each other, a couple of beers, with a baby monitor. He shut the sliding glass door, and I watched the bar that locks it accidentally slide into locked position. All the other doors were locked. FML

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

#6324167
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (2898)

On 11/16/2009 at 6:39am - kids - by x0SoReckless0x (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24631) - you deserved it (2686)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

#6316849
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (2207)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

#6291314
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23343) - you deserved it (4136)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

#6288438
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (3393)

On 11/13/2009 at 3:26pm - kids - by notateen (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

#6281731
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28807) - you deserved it (8095)

On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

#6268890
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36564) - you deserved it (3837)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

#6221644
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22630) - you deserved it (2506)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm - kids - by itsjustmyluck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML

#6217661
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7897) - you deserved it (41378)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:08pm - kids - by Dan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML

#6157147
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (7042)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by raebay (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was at the McDonalds drive-thru getting my morning coffee, when some guy slammed into the back of my car. I'm so happy I was holding the cup between my legs at that very moment, because now I have 2nd degree burns on my lady parts. FML

#6151302
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (6328)

On 11/04/2009 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML

#6120564
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30033) - you deserved it (4566)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:39pm - kids - by Chubby (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)



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