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Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

#6532401
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31463) - you deserved it (2458)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a new born puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice ino my lap, and than coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulance. FML

#6527445
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32960) - you deserved it (2506)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:34am - kids - by coloradoman (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

#6507610
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (3873)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two-month old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year old girl. FML

#6501685
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37084) - you deserved it (4489)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:14pm - kids - by Shannon (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got in a hotel elevator. There was a kid in there also. He got off on the 3rd floor. As he was stepping from the elevator, he decided to press every single button. It's a 35 floor hotel. My room is on the 32nd floor. FML

Today, I went to start my truck that I had parked in my driveway after a longhaul. The fuel gauge indicated I had a full tank. I didn't fill up. My neighbours' son decided to fill the tank with water with a hose. 150 litres worth on top of diesel. His dad's response: "Kids eh, what ya gonna do?" FML

#6449145
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31989) - you deserved it (2055)

On 11/25/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by driver (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML

#6443254
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26828) - you deserved it (6788)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:43am - kids - by madeyoulaugh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom yelling, "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

#6441579
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11324) - you deserved it (22677)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:36am - kids - by n/a - United States

Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year old clock. FML

#6397427
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (6724)

On 11/21/2009 at 11:05pm - kids - by Rhianna (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my four year old got mad that he couldn't find his favorite character on the Wii. So, he decided to smash the Wii remote into my $700 LCD TV, shattering the screen. That was the only TV in the house, and the $80 service plan I bought doesn't cover accidental damage. FML

#6370061
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (7480)

On 11/19/2009 at 4:14pm - kids - by mizzy (woman) - United States

Today, whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to my song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to my face. FML

#6364461
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6554) - you deserved it (31328)

On 11/19/2009 at 1:10am - kids - by fail (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

#6354900
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38052) - you deserved it (2618)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 5 year old lactose intolerant daughter decided to have some chocolate. The result: me cleaning the bathroom walls at 3am, finishing at 4:30am, and then start cleaning again at 5am when her stomach contents decided I had missed a spot. FML



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