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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML

#15753911
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30178) - you deserved it (11949)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:19am - kids - by JT (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the girl I was babysitting was being disrespectful to me, so I took away her stuffed animal and told her that she couldn't have it back until she apologized. She ended up sneaking onto my laptop and deleting all the pictures I'd saved from my recent vacation to Europe. FML

#15740418
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34843) - you deserved it (18554)

On 04/11/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Got_any_grapes1 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought myself a brand-new 52" flatscreen. It was only in my house for 2 hours before my toddler had a tantrum, threw a toy right into the screen and wrecked it beyond repair. I paid to have a nice TV for 2 hours. FML

#15739723
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35672) - you deserved it (8933)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:05pm - kids - by ac32 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to call AAA because not only did I lock my keys in the car, I also locked in my toddlers. FML

#15710097
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13539) - you deserved it (42679)

On 04/09/2011 at 2:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while making my son lunch, he pooped, took off his diaper, stepped in it, and then climbed to the gate to call for me. When I arrived, he had a big smile on his face and exclaimed, "Look!" Shit footprints were everywhere. FML

Today, my 3 year old daughter decided to put black nail polish over the webcam lens on my laptop because "It wasn't all black, so I decided to fix it." FML

#15650612
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31071) - you deserved it (5457)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

#15645354
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31195) - you deserved it (6072)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Bailey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#15632766
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32202) - you deserved it (16616)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59677) - you deserved it (5877)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

#15600756
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32132) - you deserved it (11373)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:35am - kids - by Viciousvixen_21 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

#15577888
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27689) - you deserved it (4115)

On 03/31/2011 at 6:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

#15536155
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (7781)

On 03/28/2011 at 8:31pm - kids - by ohshit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it's my birthday and my kids made me a card. Unfortunately, my kids used the wall for paper. Now I have red and blue crayon all over my bedroom wall. FML

#15512753
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (7547)

On 03/27/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by nicchick411 - United States (Illinois)



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