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Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML

#17826099
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28636) - you deserved it (3635)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:03am - kids - by Lolaa123 - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17786213
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31568) - you deserved it (4892)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:24am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32045) - you deserved it (8569)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (4408)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

#17758284
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24091) - you deserved it (2677)

On 09/16/2011 at 3:26pm - kids - by Chandler - United States

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

#17757259
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26993) - you deserved it (2890)

On 09/16/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by Smart - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

#17746655
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28150) - you deserved it (5631)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

#17731995
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39236) - you deserved it (4655)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:15pm - kids - by Randy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

#17720492
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33260) - you deserved it (2944)

On 09/11/2011 at 3:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

#17707171
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32148) - you deserved it (2543)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

#17672212
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31600) - you deserved it (3224)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29596) - you deserved it (9705)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31354) - you deserved it (3282)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)



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