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Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26107) - you deserved it (4233)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

#17758284
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21884) - you deserved it (2463)

On 09/16/2011 at 3:26pm - kids - by Chandler - United States

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

#17757259
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (2653)

On 09/16/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by Smart - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

#17746655
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28119) - you deserved it (5622)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

#17731995
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39194) - you deserved it (4651)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:15pm - kids - by Randy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

#17720492
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33223) - you deserved it (2941)

On 09/11/2011 at 3:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

#17707171
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32118) - you deserved it (2541)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

#17672212
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29238) - you deserved it (3009)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29204) - you deserved it (9635)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30389) - you deserved it (3202)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML

#17646156
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46373) - you deserved it (4247)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:02pm - kids - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML

#17640475
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48239) - you deserved it (18486)

On 09/01/2011 at 11:44pm - kids - by nyaahaha - United States

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34156) - you deserved it (3766)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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