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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

#19756804
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26229) - you deserved it (1984)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

#19733599
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (2601)

On 06/04/2012 at 4:37pm - kids - by obtuse_ballsack (man) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

#19731019
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30413) - you deserved it (4355)

On 06/04/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by nanall - United States

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34533) - you deserved it (2645)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

#19708903
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31108) - you deserved it (2458)

On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

#19704356
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23669) - you deserved it (2330)

On 05/30/2012 at 12:45pm - kids - by unzucht (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

#19701580
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29201) - you deserved it (1874)

On 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

#19700460
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you deserved it (2561)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States

Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML

#19696730
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31237) - you deserved it (2747)

On 05/29/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by The Bearded Woman (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21485) - you deserved it (13187)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

#19682386
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23523) - you deserved it (2459)

On 05/26/2012 at 7:06am - kids - by Never Work With Animals or Children (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

#19680165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26571) - you deserved it (2580)

On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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