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Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML

#21464517
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22178) - you deserved it (2666)

On 09/04/2015 at 1:46pm - kids - by brittsters (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my dog drinking out of the toilet. My daughter was next to him, also drinking from the toilet. FML

#21464273
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24016) - you deserved it (2661)

On 09/03/2015 at 9:06pm - kids - by whoevenncares - United States

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

#21463887
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (2548)

On 09/02/2015 at 8:32pm - kids - by girl on fire (woman) -

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (4693)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got fired from my childcare job of five years because the other staff weren't as popular with the kids, so they accused me of being "creepy" because the kids all wanted to play a game with me instead of them. FML

#21463241
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27369) - you deserved it (1479)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

#21463092
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (4817)

On 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm - kids - by laurencoc - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML

#21463070
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23741) - you deserved it (1765)

On 08/31/2015 at 5:46pm - kids - by AM (woman) -

Today, I was outside talking to my new neighbor. I was gesturing while talking and didn't notice the little kid riding her bike coming our way. I ended up accidentally smacking her in the face and knocking her off her bike. Apparently she's my new neighbor's daughter. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

#21462173
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (2185)

On 08/29/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finished a big painting for art class. It's also the day my little brother decided it didn't have enough puke on it. FML

#21462064
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (1570)

On 08/29/2015 at 9:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML

#21461568
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26290) - you deserved it (2382)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML

#21461274
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (2289)

On 08/27/2015 at 8:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML

#21461075
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21762) - you deserved it (1548)

On 08/26/2015 at 8:28pm - kids - by tortureromoretorture - United States (New York)



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