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Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

#21331295
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30819) - you deserved it (6387)

On 01/05/2015 at 12:58pm - kids - by midwify (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

#21328540
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28312) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23434) - you deserved it (42577)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML

#21325704
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28703) - you deserved it (7179)

On 12/28/2014 at 4:07am - kids - by angryman -

Today, my little sister randomly came up to me and said: "Aww, don't be sad. Even ugly people can get boyfriends." She then smiled, patted my back, and walked off. I wasn't actually sad before, but I am now. FML

#21324793
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31614) - you deserved it (2802)

On 12/26/2014 at 4:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, the kid who who lives next door and shares a bedroom wall with me got a drum set for Christmas. FML

#21323929
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31160) - you deserved it (2359)

On 12/25/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by BowTiesAr3Cool - United States (Texas)

Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML

#21323581
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28875) - you deserved it (11098)

On 12/24/2014 at 10:01pm - kids - by Santa (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents refused to give my daughter her Christmas presents as an act of revenge against her father. FML

#21323347
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28857) - you deserved it (2109)

On 12/24/2014 at 3:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML

#21321325
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25394) - you deserved it (4013)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:59am - kids - by paparoach (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML

#21321107
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (4721)

On 12/20/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Mightaswelltutordogs (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29621) - you deserved it (3177)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31714) - you deserved it (3671)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28528) - you deserved it (2564)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)



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