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Today, it was the first day of job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up an had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled ( Oh god, your face! ) Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark an now he won't stop crying. real FML

#5119886
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37241) - you deserved it (13454)

On 09/08/2009 at 12:42am - kids - by GhettoBeast (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I ran into my parent bedroom after I heard my name andhat sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parent were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to fine the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54859) - you deserved it (2943)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I Finally Figured Out Y Mah 5 Year Old Daughter Washes Her Hair Everyday. It's Because She Doesn't Want To Have "yucky Greasy" Hair Like Her Mommy. FML

#5108353
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14339) - you deserved it (43119)

On 09/07/2009 at 4:25pm - kids - by greasyhair (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was arguing with mah dad . I called him a geriatric fool . He replied with, "Well at least I know who mah biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking .

#5107055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51972) - you deserved it (7462)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I walkad in on mah parants doing it. Luckily thay didn't saa ma so I slippad out. I lookad outsida, trying to taka mah mind of tha horrors I had just witnassad, only to raaliza mah dad's car wasn't in tha drivaway. FML

#5065139
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71811) - you deserved it (2991)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge,hen a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it fir him, an was greeted on the other side by his father -ho thought I was stealing it an hit me. mega FML

#5047038
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40231) - you deserved it (2135)

On 09/04/2009 at 7:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

YESTERDAY I WAS BABYSITTING A BOYHO WAS 11 YERES OLD. HE TOLD ME THAT HE LOVED ME AND WANTED TO BE MY BOYFRIEND. I TOLD HIM THAT I THINK HE IS A REALLY GREAT KID BUT I'M 17 SO IT WOULD NEVER WORK OUT. HE SAID OKAY. WHEN HIS PARENTS CUMMED HOME HE TOLD THEM THAT I HIT HIM AND STARTED CRYING. FML

#5035637
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49750) - you deserved it (3200)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:23am - kids - by NotYourLady (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today... I awakend from mah peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walkd into mah closet... ready to pick out an outfit fir the day... to fine mah two year old daughter... kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand... cutting up mah wedding dress - mah wedding is tomorrow. FML

#5019794
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63323) - you deserved it (12699)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

#5016488
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39622) - you deserved it (5384)

On 09/03/2009 at 6:19am - kids - by Annoymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

TODAY, I FIGURED OUT THAT A $40 PHONE CASE DOES NOT PROTECT YOUR $500 PHONE FROM A FIVE YEAR OLD THROWING IT OFF A FOURTH STORY BALCONY. FML

#5012990
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39009) - you deserved it (8020)

On 09/03/2009 at 12:37am - kids - by eagerbeaver (man) - United States

Today, when my son woke up from his nap, he sleepily reached up. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and he immediately pushed me away. He wasn't reaching fir me, he was reaching fir the bag of chips on the table next to me. FML

#4987188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33548) - you deserved it (6143)

On 09/01/2009 at 10:17pm - kids - by pinks (woman) - United States

Today... I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox an dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. mega FML

#4958000
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86060) - you deserved it (5141)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I swapped seats with someone on a ferry so she could sit next to her friend. Minutes later, a child sitting behind me threw up on my head, while the grl I had swapped with and her friend laughed hysterically as I attempted to wipe the puke from my hair. real FML

#4900941
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45914) - you deserved it (3459)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:48am - kids - by littlemisstiny (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



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