Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

#14024003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35030) - you deserved it (3441)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:20pm - kids - by preggers - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML

#14013959
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27941) - you deserved it (5380)

On 11/28/2010 at 6:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old brother wanted to look through my phone. I know he can't read so I gave it to him. He was, however, able to get at my "private" photo album. FML

#14003721
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8047) - you deserved it (39648)

On 11/27/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by lebowski - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML

#14003133
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29431) - you deserved it (13048)

On 11/27/2010 at 8:03pm - kids - by lovedbyallthewrongppl - United States (Michigan)

Today, while babysitting, I brought over some colouring-in sheets as an activity. I said that I should bring some Christmas-themed ones for next time. The little girl then turned to me and said "If there is a next time." I've been put on probation by an 8-year-old. FML

#13936248
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (3925)

On 11/22/2010 at 11:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML

#13925206
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (3317)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:36pm - kids - by kaileekat517 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML

#13912441
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (6990)

On 11/20/2010 at 2:07pm - kids - by Lexi - Canada

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40694) - you deserved it (13377)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML

#13853853
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35949) - you deserved it (3010)

On 11/15/2010 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

#13840378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29707) - you deserved it (7819)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm - kids - by nicki - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML

#13825613
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32393) - you deserved it (2936)

On 11/13/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by blueheron93 (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54464) - you deserved it (10825)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter got engaged. Her fiancé is not only 25 years older than her, but was her teacher in middle school. FML

#13768477
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50035) - you deserved it (4372)

On 11/08/2010 at 7:38pm - kids - by - (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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