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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, whilst working as a language assistant in Germany as part of my degree, some 9 year-old German kids asked me to please speak English to them because my German was so poor. FML

#13139163
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15868) - you deserved it (21846)

On 09/21/2010 at 3:10am - kids - by themildthings (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while tearfully telling my closest friends that I had miscarried my first pregnancy, the first thing out of their mouths was, 'So, does this mean you're going to start drinking with us again?' FML

#13071693
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (3969)

On 09/16/2010 at 6:59am - kids - by mommymo (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got the car of my dreams. My daughter also learned how to write her name. Now I have "LAUREN" across the side of my car. FML

#13030264
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26303) - you deserved it (4417)

On 09/13/2010 at 1:41am - kids - by llozano715 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31967) - you deserved it (28482)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was moving. While packing, I found an old photo that had been laying face down in the bottom of a drawer for some time, and some of the ink transfered to the drawer lining. There is now an image of my ex-girlfriend's face permanently burned into the bottom of my nightstand drawer. FML

#12998740
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29134) - you deserved it (5429)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:53am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 8 year old adopted daughter told me she wants me to take her back so another family can adopt her because I don't give her enough toys. FML

#12989156
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37043) - you deserved it (4213)

On 09/10/2010 at 10:56am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52462) - you deserved it (7888)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me because she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriend who provided for them left. FML

#12938106
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28346) - you deserved it (5438)

On 09/06/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by newdad (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter asked for a dollar to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck while I was on my computer working. Out of my wallet she took a fifty dollar bill. The ice cream man got a big tip before driving off. FML

#12935900
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28064) - you deserved it (15228)

On 09/06/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by BrokebyKids - United States (New York)

Today, while I was working at child care, I told a two year old not to hit. He threw a bucket at me that bounced off my forehead. FML

#12910984
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23845) - you deserved it (4445)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:44am - kids - by kaytay2469 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

#12879183
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (4606)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:35am - kids - by Devon - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

#12858268
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29228) - you deserved it (3957)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was life guarding at a community pool and noticed a toddler go under water. I quickly jumped in and suddenly got a charlie horse which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

#12843819
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27551) - you deserved it (9360)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:35pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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