Today, I got an expensive drone for my birthday. My brother got a BB gun and thought it would be hilarious to shoot my drone with it while I was flying it. FML

by KingKralj / 12/04/2016 at 4:49pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

by buttpain / 12/01/2016 at 1:29pm / Kids

Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML

by purpletrout / 11/30/2016 at 1:39am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML

by Kelly / 11/29/2016 at 1:57pm / Kids

Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML

by Pissy / 11/27/2016 at 3:15pm / Kids

Today, the 8 year old that I babysit every week told me that it was sad that I didn't have a boyfriend while he has a girlfriend. I got burned by a 3rd grader. FML

by Babysitter Probs / 11/27/2016 at 12:58am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was watching TV with my husband and my 5-year-old son. Everything was going fine until my son asked his father, “Why can’t mom know that you have another sweetheart?” FML

by Wanaaa / 11/25/2016 at 2:08am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids

Today, on Thanksgiving, I asked my kid what she is thankful for. "My tablet." I had just told her I was thankful for her. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2016 at 8:17am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, after struggling with breastfeeding and trying to build up my milk supply, I was finally able to pump a full 6 oz! I celebrated by immediately spilling it all over my lap. FML

by don't cry over spilled milk / 11/23/2016 at 9:33am / United States (Alaska) / Kids

Today, after discussing having our son's hair styled nicely for school, my ex returns him with his head shaved. I didn't realise bald was in style for 4-year-olds. FML

by children ain't pawns / 11/21/2016 at 10:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, my neighbour almost ran over my little sister, and blamed it on his disability. What disability? He has no sense of smell. FML

by 4lphab3t4 / 11/21/2016 at 10:22am / Kids

Today, my mother lectured me for not spending enough time with her. We literally just got back from a 10 day vacation together. FML

by shanson / 11/07/2016 at 9:06am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I had to teach my 13-year-old sister that sugar and salt don't, "cancel each other out to make the taste neutral". FML

by poormanslucyliu1 / 11/06/2016 at 9:28pm / Kids