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Today, as I was trying to get off a crowded train, some asshole pushed past me hard enough to nearly knock me over. My bag hit a preschool kid standing behind me, and I missed my stop trying to apologize to him. His mom yelled at me all the way to the next stop. FML

#21515864
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20085) - you deserved it (1285)

On 01/16/2016 at 10:00am - kids - by off-balance (woman) - Finland

Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML

#21515486
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21799) - you deserved it (2190)

On 01/15/2016 at 5:56am - kids - by DatAss (woman) -

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

#21515446
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20858) - you deserved it (1581)

On 01/15/2016 at 1:57am - kids - by Vitani_Verci -

Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML

#21515142
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20453) - you deserved it (1582)

On 01/14/2016 at 10:05am - kids - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

#21513068
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19427) - you deserved it (1282)

On 01/09/2016 at 12:14am - kids - by orcatheseapanda (man) - Thailand

Today, I had to explain to my friend that a blue raspberry is not a blackberry, and that blue raspberry is an artificial flavor, not a fruit. This explanation took much longer than it should have. FML

#21512826
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19664) - you deserved it (2068)

On 01/08/2016 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered my dog humping my sister's five month old baby while babysitting. FML

Today, my 4 year old's heavily pregnant teacher pulled me aside and asked me to talk to my son about "boundaries". Apparently, he asked her if she was going to "boobie feed" him and listed a few reasons why she should and why formula is bad, in front of the entire class. FML

Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML

#21511488
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19921) - you deserved it (3161)

On 01/04/2016 at 6:13pm - kids - by bushy brows - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 5 year-old informed me she likes her "other mummy" more and wants to live with her instead. I need to have a long conversation with my husband. FML

#21511215
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26597) - you deserved it (1610)

On 01/04/2016 at 12:21am - kids - by Xandriajoy10 - Australia

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

#21510516
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20431) - you deserved it (3462)

On 01/02/2016 at 3:25am - kids - by me - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML

#21509850
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20441) - you deserved it (6607)

On 12/31/2015 at 5:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after trying unsuccessfully for three or so years to have a baby with my wife, my broodiness has gotten so bad that when I saw a couple with their daughter at the bus stop, I briefly had a daydream where I shot them in the head and took their daughter home to raise as my own. FML

#21509677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23077) - you deserved it (4627)

On 12/31/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by DesperateToBeDad (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)



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