Poopoo peepee and Kids: Pissed - FML

Pissed

By holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 074

You deserved it 33 433

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 936

You deserved it 2 839

Unpleasant

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 96

By wetbutt - 06/03/2009 17:49 - United States

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 990

You deserved it 68 569

By smells like ass - 29/12/2016 03:05

Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 037

You deserved it 415

Right in the nuts

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 06:01

Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 221

By smellsofeggs - 26/11/2009 21:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 058

You deserved it 8 497

Freeloadin' freewheelin'

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 04:00

Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 89

By jeeperspeepers - 02/08/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 129

You deserved it 132 892

By Kutakito - 15/04/2013 20:18 - Sweden - Saltsj?baden

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 407

You deserved it 12 287

By GaveAnInchTakeAMile - 11/05/2013 09:52 - United States

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 576

You deserved it 5 846

Next

Top comments

i_got_it 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:31

Imagine what he would've did if you said **** off.

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:38

He's got good aim. You should've done the same thing. Have like, a fight via streams to see whose stream is mightier.

Comments

NGM_47 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:22

well, at least he didn't pee on your face...hopefully. FYL.

dcbog123 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:25

piss on him when hes asleep

popoman 0

Friday 23 October 2009 4:00

Piss and ejaculate on him. Maybe shit on him too. All while he's asleep. It's like that quote from "The Untouchables": "They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue." You have to up the ante and show him that he should never mess with you again.

haralynn 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 23:03

haahahahaah wat a smartass

lol_cakes 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:22

...and then the love of your life walked by and laughed? Honestly, there's not much FML in this FML. Just take a shower, jesus.

Saccharide 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 3:32

Can we push to add a third option along with FYL and YDI? I purpose "who cares?".

Tremble 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 6:25

Yeah, really! So go shower, and kick him where it hurts. Then he won't be pissing anywhere for a few days. ;)

gameboybooa 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 5:02

I doubt you'd be so chill if you just got pissed on. Stop trying to act tough on a website and show the guy some sympathy.

Lc7926 15

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:23

YDI

XanderScythe 11

Saturday 22 September 2012 2:35

I am sure every time you say piss off you expect them to piss on you. Asswipe... Wait, you're not going to wipe your ass on me are you? :o

Justine94_x 31

Thursday 7 May 2015 2:53

how do they deserve getting pissed on lol?

Phalankx 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:23

...and then the love of your life walked by and laughed? Honestly, there's not much FML in this FML. Just take a shower, jesus.

i_got_it 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:31

Imagine what he would've did if you said **** off.

nazooer 11

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:48

Win

configurator 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 3:32

I was just coming in to say that, but I see you beat me to it...

Littlerunner 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 6:23

hahahahaha good point!

pwner64 0

Monday 8 February 2010 3:04

lol

DrunkenValor 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:33

Owned.

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:38

He's got good aim. You should've done the same thing. Have like, a fight via streams to see whose stream is mightier.

Bloodknight 22

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:40

Lol, that's awesome!

Zigster94 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:43

Chef Ramsey says piss off >:C and yea, i recommend a brutal tea bag that will scar him for life

too_much_fun 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:49

You dont think your brother's pee on your lap is disgusting? where do you live..

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The Top

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 368

You deserved it 3 639

Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 827

You deserved it 10 515

The Top

Today, my friends and I had planned to meet up. One of the friends, Mike, decided to pick me up on the way. Mike called first to let me know, and his kids overheard us and I heard them ask him where he was going. Mike jokingly replied, "To pick up my ugly friend." His kids ask if it was [my name]? We laughed, but damn… FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 102

Nice.

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 94

Today, my landlord increase my rent because of the "increased value of the flat". Why has the value increased? Because I decorated and replaced the broken fixtures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 444

You deserved it 171

Today, I replied to a party invite. I thought I was only replying to the hostess, who's a close friend, so added a P. S. about a recent sex toy purchase I'd made and how rubbish it had been. I only realised after pressing "Send" that I'd selected "Reply All". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 421

You deserved it 41 415

Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 434

You deserved it 2 243

Today, I was reminded that I used by dad's camera all summer to take naked pictures for boyfriend when my dad sent me an email saying: "FYI: when you delete pictures directly off the camera they get uploaded as trash files when the camera is connected to the computer." He saw them all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 078

You deserved it 85 368