Kids: Today, after deciding we have enough kids and scheduling a vasectomy... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By gshpigboy - 05/05/2016 05:06 - United States

Today, after deciding we have enough kids and scheduling a vasectomy in 2 weeks we found out my wife is pregnant again fml.

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You deserved it 21

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kjpost 2

Friday 6 May 2016 2:17

Wear a condom?

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kjpost 2

Friday 6 May 2016 2:17

Wear a condom?

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Today, my husband wants a divorce and will be moving out as soon as possible because he can’t stand my mother anymore. He's tired of pushing me to stand up to her, even once, so he's done and is leaving. I’m upset he’s leaving, but I’m equally as upset he’s leaving me alone with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 1 455

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages, she said, "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said, "But it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 193

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Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 792

You deserved it 11 744

Today, I had to buy a wrist splint for my carpal tunnel syndrome. Not because I'm a computer programmer or some hot shot web designer but because I spend ALL of my time playing Solitaire on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 886

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Today, I ordered an iPad to replace a broken tablet in a haste. I managed to order one of the only ones that doesn't support an Apple pencil. This is exactly the only feature I SERIOUSLY need. Can one be more stupid? FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 1 038

Today, it's my roommate's birthday. His friends were planning on a surprise birthday cake at midnight last night, and one of them told me about it, hoping to split the expense between us, which I was totally cool with. But I fell asleep before midnight and they didn't even bother to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 476

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Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 482

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Today, after waiting 3 months to see if I got the job I had applied for, I was told that they never received my application. Turns out that the email address that they told me to send it to was not being checked anymore and that they would be happy to consider me for the following year. FML

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You deserved it 1 355