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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend's dad called me a whore and said I'm trying to use his son and "steal" his virginity for my own needs. My boyfriend has had sex with over 10 girls and I'm a virgin. FML

#21339329
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39000) - you deserved it (2660)

On 01/18/2015 at 1:29am - intimacy - by virginwhore (woman) -

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26778) - you deserved it (6151)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

#21335701
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32768) - you deserved it (11827)

On 01/12/2015 at 11:43am - intimacy - by bowler99 - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (5921)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier than I expected". FML

#21335513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39284) - you deserved it (3587)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by reallyson? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18116) - you deserved it (26361)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

#21334501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (10177)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by sisterlylove - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML

#21334154
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (8891)

On 01/09/2015 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first ever orgasm. Then he bitched me out for insulting his intelligence, saying it was "blatantly fake" and that "women don't orgasm like that". FML

#21334061
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33717) - you deserved it (2743)

On 01/09/2015 at 6:09pm - intimacy - by good2know (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

#21333313
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37595) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

#21333219
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32958) - you deserved it (4851)

On 01/08/2015 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)



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