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Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

#1040
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20203) - you deserved it (2349)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47719) - you deserved it (6603)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

#997
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28013) - you deserved it (7538)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12567) - you deserved it (65850)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was doing a local search at SexSearch.com and I found my sister's profile. FML

#727
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33236) - you deserved it (8487)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:22am - intimacy - by shocked1 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

#735
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9197) - you deserved it (46103)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:07am - intimacy - by Noname - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9004) - you deserved it (67168)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

#842
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34552) - you deserved it (2684)

On 01/03/2009 at 11:48am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up with her clothes, with wig and makeup. FML

#840
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28967) - you deserved it (4375)

On 01/02/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML

#672
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11862) - you deserved it (31190)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, me and my sister hear a buzzing noise in our parent's bedroom. We go to investigate. It's coming from a drawer. We open it up. Battery operated dildo. FML

#770
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29591) - you deserved it (4292)

On 01/01/2009 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend has big fake boobs, but gets offended when I tell her how much I like them. FML

#769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31578) - you deserved it (5130)

On 01/01/2009 at 12:23am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28230) - you deserved it (2098)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version



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