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Man or woman?

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32011) - you deserved it (2251)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my partner and I were informed by the man we had a three-way with, the first one after having finally screwed up the courage to do it, that he has mono. I don't feel so good. FML

#1345
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8928) - you deserved it (31285)

On 01/16/2009 at 8:36am - intimacy - by fd - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6515) - you deserved it (26837)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

#1148
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6190) - you deserved it (29551)

On 01/14/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Holymoly - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

#1065
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9663) - you deserved it (45108)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

#1040
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20215) - you deserved it (2349)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47739) - you deserved it (6605)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

#997
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28026) - you deserved it (7541)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12569) - you deserved it (65883)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was doing a local search at SexSearch.com and I found my sister's profile. FML

#727
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33257) - you deserved it (8488)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:22am - intimacy - by shocked1 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

#735
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9201) - you deserved it (46118)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:07am - intimacy - by Noname - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9009) - you deserved it (67189)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

#842
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34558) - you deserved it (2684)

On 01/03/2009 at 11:48am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version



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