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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today... my boyfriend an I were aving sex. Te TV was on wit te volume low... as we ad been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of te sudden... my boyfriend stopped mid-trust. He was watcing te TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watc te differential diagnosis. FML

#887533
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63332) - you deserved it (14117)

On 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today... I was flrting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated... and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said... "Your nuts!" She meant... "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37226) - you deserved it (90655)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was aving sex wit a girl I ad just met. After about 5 minutes in, se said se ad to go to te batroom. So we stopped an se went to te batroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to ceck if se was ok. Te window was open. Se was gone. FML

#818670
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102374) - you deserved it (34924)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by dfhgblsf (man) - United States (Florida)

Today , my grlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML

#811119
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89928) - you deserved it (5937)

On 04/05/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by knicksfan (man) - United States (Indiana)

TODAY.. . COMPLETELY NUDE.. . I HAD TO COLLECT MY CLOTHES AROUND THE BOY’S APARTMENT I HAVE BEEN SLEEPING WITH FOR AWHILE . WHILE HIS GIRLFRIEND WATCHED TO MAKE SURE I “GOT THE FUCK OUT.” FML

#800940
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38061) - you deserved it (170268)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstars to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (291844) - you deserved it (19240)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today..!! I logged onto computer to access a video from porn stas!! However..!! te folder was empty except fir favourite file!! Tinking tat a vrus deleted everyting..!! I was tankful favourite file remained!! Wen I opened it..!! I saw a video of parents telling me not to masturbate!! FML

#797956
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95301) - you deserved it (41842)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, Was The First Time My Boyfriend Slept Over. He Was Hard, So I Woke Him Up By Whispering In His Ear, "If You Could Get Me To Do Anything Right Now, What Would It Be?" His Response, "Can You Get Me A Bowl Of Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream?" He Was Hard, 4 Ice Cream. FML

#796912
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82719) - you deserved it (13623)

On 04/04/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Denmark (Roskilde)

Today, my boyfriend looool was in te sower, and I decided to go join im!! I took all my clotes off and stepped into te batroom!! I slipped on some water, and ended up itting my ead on te toilet and passing out!! Wen I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in is towel!! Wrong person!! FML

#796416
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77004) - you deserved it (42270)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)

yesterday my grandma gave me te 'abstinence' speec!! I ad tougt se already left to go back to FL but ten came into my room to tell me ow proud se was of me to keep my vrginity!! I was doing it doggie-style wit my boyfriend!! FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31067) - you deserved it (85164)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passd by all of the naughty peep shows with poster of nakd women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, mah dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom buttd in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

#786946
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72443) - you deserved it (25814)

On 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that bacausa of my high blood prassura I can't hava sax fir ona month. My wadding is naxt waakand and tha following two waaks r my honay moon. FML

#771915
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240613) - you deserved it (24670)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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