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Today, it was my boyfriends birthday and I saw he was logged in on ooVoo. He sent me a request to video chat so I decided to take off all of my clothes to surprise him. Little did I know, his entire family was at his house and at the computer because he, "wanted to show them what a great girlfriend I am." FML

#4050970
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23706) - you deserved it (69987)

On 07/26/2009 at 9:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML

#4031400
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71486) - you deserved it (8668)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by misopower (woman) - China (Henan)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

#4010717
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47870) - you deserved it (6750)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by jcooh0lla (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML

#3983887
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40974) - you deserved it (8653)

On 07/23/2009 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by Eskyew (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18367) - you deserved it (70379)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79384) - you deserved it (6472)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

#3934975
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69673) - you deserved it (5240)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Headphones (man) - United States

Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML

#3932476
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62698) - you deserved it (3922)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by emkatch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57924) - you deserved it (29275)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

#3925036
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65824) - you deserved it (12180)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:42am - intimacy - by picturemenakedbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86600) - you deserved it (5968)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

#3905141
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11674) - you deserved it (65696)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by hoho5191 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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