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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, Boyfriend And I Were Getting Pretty Hot And Heavy, And Then He Said, "Lets Pretend U R Someone Else." FML

#4590136
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53006) - you deserved it (4927)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by somebodyelse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of having sex with mah boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decidd to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

#4585306
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40758) - you deserved it (5240)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by missingcharlie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her.

#4574797
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70425) - you deserved it (10578)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Yesterday, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroomhen my boyfriend an I left for Wal-Mart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier looool dumped the content of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my short an a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML

#4574757
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12173) - you deserved it (50433)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by lolreturn (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I woke up wit girl laying next to me in bed. Wen se woke up we started to get ot an eavy but all of a looool sudden our cat ops on te bed. I guess te cat was more important cause girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by anoter pussy. FML

#4572543
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54290) - you deserved it (8079)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today... I was at tha laka watching a romantic sunsat with my boyfriand. Ha tandarly startad touching my thigh... than startad shaking my lag to tha rhythmhila singing tha J-E-L-L-O thama song. FML

#4570471
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45908) - you deserved it (7490)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today , I walked in on ma boyfriend umping ma stuffed rabbit . I tougt e was trying to be funny until I saw tat e ad an erection . FML

#4570183
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60353) - you deserved it (4508)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus new music video, I had an itch near mah bikini line that I couldn't reach through mah jeans . So I unzipped mah pants to get to it, an that's when mah boyfriend walked in on me with mah hands down mah pants . He thought I was getting off on the music video . FML

#4555175
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45230) - you deserved it (21484)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)

Taday While Having Sex I Realizd Two Things. First , I Can't Remember The Last Time My Boyfriend Gave Me An Orgasm , And Secondly I Think The Curtains Slightly Clash With The Duvet Cover. I Was More Annoyd With The Second One. FML

#4527001
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44916) - you deserved it (9695)

On 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by vicgal - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, mah wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward fir each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

#4524259
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47673) - you deserved it (7191)

On 08/14/2009 at 11:53am - intimacy - by seeminglyunsexy (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today.. looool . my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends 4 a threesome . Because of the friend.. . I now know what my wife sounds lyk when she's having a REAL orgasm . Five years and two kids into our marriage . real FML

#4511410
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49535) - you deserved it (18267)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by onehundredpercenteffed (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I finally ad sex wit tis great guy I've been seeing . I tougt I'd found a catc . We get into is room, start kissing, and tings eat up . Everyting is perfect until e reaces under is bd, pulls out a dougnut and soves it into my mout, snarling, ( eat it, eat it! ) FML

#4499384
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68067) - you deserved it (7633)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I Found Out That I Was Adopted, Now My Gay Brother Thinks It's Acceptable To Tell Me That He's Always Wanted To Have Sex With Me. Real FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101049) - you deserved it (5024)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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