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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24709) - you deserved it (3443)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47043) - you deserved it (13444)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

#7608615
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24653) - you deserved it (5002)

On 01/27/2010 at 6:55am - intimacy - by Patrick - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

#7606758
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10958) - you deserved it (26286)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:35am - intimacy - by DuChaillu (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

#7598826
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13845) - you deserved it (28839)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML

#7585326
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9384) - you deserved it (26249)

On 01/26/2010 at 3:59am - intimacy - by sexyfail (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

#7584154
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22959) - you deserved it (9727)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - intimacy - by mairelys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that my mom and her disgusting mess of a boyfriend refer to his penis as "the monkey." And she says that I hate him because I'M immature. FML

#7565920
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20555) - you deserved it (2455)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - intimacy - by emergency (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35326) - you deserved it (4814)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

#7563782
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17947) - you deserved it (4366)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML

#7551052
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22930) - you deserved it (7785)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by meggasee - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (7162)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I told a girl she was beautiful on the inside and out. She still didn't sleep with me. FML

#7520375
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7905) - you deserved it (70687)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by MackeyBoy (man) - United Kingdom



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