Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

by hairless / 07/30/2010 at 2:45am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML

by Sunshine.0.ninja / 07/29/2010 at 2:28pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

by GGimabeast / 07/29/2010 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

by Username / 07/28/2010 at 7:20am / Intimacy

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

by aero00 / 07/27/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

by lonelyguy321 / 07/27/2010 at 10:43am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

by dumped / 07/26/2010 at 7:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he told me I was the love of his life. Afterwards, he clarified his statement. I was the love of his life, because I was in his life at that moment. FML

by robm / 07/26/2010 at 4:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I told my girlfriend of 2 years that I was sexually abused as a kid. She was only the third person I've told. She reacted by breaking up with me because I "might do something" to her kids. FML

by draegoncode / 07/26/2010 at 12:34am / Intimacy

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

by cameltoeyourface / 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

by girlgirlinsanity / 07/25/2010 at 7:09am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided he would do his job while I did my "job" on top of him. He whips out his Blackberry and completely ignores me to send e-mails to co-workers reminding them about the 10 a.m. meeting scheduled for the next morning. FML

by blackberrybummer / 07/25/2010 at 1:57am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I spent 100 dollars on lingerie. I put it on, walk out to the living room, and tell my boyfriend to follow me into the bedroom. He says no, and then pretends to fall asleep. FML

by Anonymous90 / 07/24/2010 at 7:59pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy