Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20726) - you deserved it (4736)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I hooked up with a guy who has a Facebook page for his cat. FML

#8117396
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10426) - you deserved it (36393)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:33am - intimacy - by CatWoman (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

#8085634
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21580) - you deserved it (6391)

On 02/10/2010 at 10:08am - intimacy - by ryan - United States

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

#8082949
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19622) - you deserved it (2014)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

#8074818
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18976) - you deserved it (5397)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by evecamp - United States (California)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML

#8062082
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8344) - you deserved it (15432)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

#8031607
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24658) - you deserved it (4988)

On 02/08/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied - Sent from mobile version

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (4684)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (3007)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

#7946141
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10277) - you deserved it (21134)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Sully (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked to stand up and be introduced to a company director. I had a hard on. FML

#7928576
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18505) - you deserved it (5449)

On 02/06/2010 at 4:29am - intimacy - by Bacular (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

#7923613
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20869) - you deserved it (5499)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML

#7906309
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33386) - you deserved it (2596)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:01pm - intimacy - by michelle - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: