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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

2day I walked into mah apartment to fine mah boyfriend of two years screwing mah lifelong best friend. I immediately burst into tears. He looked at me and told me I was being too dramatic. FML

#6580116
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (2240)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

looool Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, cuz trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle . FML

#6574517
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20245) - you deserved it (11109)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today , I went to the bathroom an usd the urinal . When I was done , I closd my zipper on my foreskin . FML

#6568411
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (8011)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by randm1 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today... me an my grlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. Wile at a stop ligt... se startd to make tese werd noises. Turns out se was aving an orgasm. I still can't give er one. mega FML

#6534520
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25618) - you deserved it (5593)

On 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Taday I overhead mah mother's request to be spankd harder by mah dad. FML

#6532125
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28704) - you deserved it (2617)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

I was working at a restauranthen my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out!! So I did!! Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager!! FML

#6526778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36162) - you deserved it (2885)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today mah dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheeredhen Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says ( You know your mother and I concieved u there? ) Thanks Dad. FML

#6507580
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18309) - you deserved it (3459)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by hawaiianlovechild - United States

Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse diiele secretly watcing porn rigten your mom walks in. FML

#6501664
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9321) - you deserved it (26619)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by nickyy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving mah roommate a blowjob was real . He just pretended it never happened . FML

#6494612
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30461) - you deserved it (4531)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by chacha - United States

Today I was explaining te inner parts of a virginia and ow tey work. To ma boyfriend. fat FML

#6488326
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (5983)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , mah mom trid to give me advice on how to improve mah looks. I scoffd at her but listend to her advice anyway. She endd her trade with , ( I just want u to get laid someday. ) big fat FML

#6480993
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21448) - you deserved it (3199)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found a camera someone left at our house. I lookd at the pictures, and saw mah grandma in a sexy outfit. FML

#6480509
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (5206)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Taday I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

#6474999
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19533) - you deserved it (6717)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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