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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had cramp in both my legs at the same time. FML

#11236853
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35202) - you deserved it (7580)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:32am - intimacy - by kitkat1603 (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML

#11117532
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57048) - you deserved it (22392)

On 06/11/2010 at 12:56am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML

#11076892
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39909) - you deserved it (23157)

On 06/09/2010 at 9:05am - intimacy - by DFR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52703) - you deserved it (18115)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

#11070143
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51300) - you deserved it (6767)

On 06/09/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by dancerr2210 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mother asked me if I'd heard of anal sex. Before I could fully process her question, she explained that it's dangerous because the tissues of the anus are finer and more susceptible to STDs. There were still forty minutes left in our car ride. FML

#10991585
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41591) - you deserved it (4181)

On 06/05/2010 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by SlickMcK - United States (New York)

Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

#10945520
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48361) - you deserved it (25814)

On 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Allie - United States (Illinois)

Today, after staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time, I got in the shower. His bathroom door doesn't lock, so half way through my shower he walked in. Trying to be sexy, I pressed myself up against the glass, which turned out the be a door that opens outwards. I fell on the floor. FML

#10939026
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21057) - you deserved it (40621)

On 06/03/2010 at 4:54am - intimacy - by elevenharries (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job to tone arm fat. I get to watch my Grandmother do this motion for 6 minutes every day. FML

#10925224
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38917) - you deserved it (4987)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by GrandmaShakers (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML

#10911486
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38177) - you deserved it (5980)

On 06/01/2010 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Amb (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was finally time for both of us to have sex with each other. He kept his shoes on the whole time because he thought he had smelly feet. FML

#10906300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35231) - you deserved it (5482)

On 06/01/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by smellyfeet (woman) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML

#10894032
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29471) - you deserved it (67936)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by anonomus - United States (Virginia)



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