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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

#8890644
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13159) - you deserved it (22596)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27733) - you deserved it (6015)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML

#8886526
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7388) - you deserved it (26166)

On 03/07/2010 at 3:13am - intimacy - by laydeegaga -

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

#8875479
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (4284)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

#8875274
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (2026)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by ThoroughlyCreepedOut (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

#8865322
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29549) - you deserved it (7964)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:31am - intimacy - by ICantBelieveThis - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

#8864164
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8422) - you deserved it (41109)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by imabadperson (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10233) - you deserved it (29365)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26529) - you deserved it (6194)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

#8818835
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10680) - you deserved it (18779)

On 03/04/2010 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

#8817091
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (7534)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by fml1977 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23097) - you deserved it (7311)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32492) - you deserved it (3731)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States



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