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Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

#21403935
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32681) - you deserved it (2465)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by I pick em' good - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML

#21403711
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30895) - you deserved it (2676)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized I get more pleasure watching YouTube videos of people lighting their farts on fire than I do from making love to my husband. FML

#21403333
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (6039)

On 05/02/2015 at 10:23am - intimacy - by wellfuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML

#21402521
106 comments

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

#21402047
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31276) - you deserved it (9732)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by MiniJeans - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

#21401985
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28896) - you deserved it (3239)

On 04/29/2015 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by sexandanxiety (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
100 comments

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

#21401155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32767) - you deserved it (3580)

On 04/28/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my fiancé called me 'thick' for not realising he'd been sleeping with his ex earlier. FML

Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding. FML

#21399911
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30231) - you deserved it (5932)

On 04/26/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

#21399752
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29890) - you deserved it (8843)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33849) - you deserved it (5241)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37113) - you deserved it (2446)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)



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