Today, my 15 year-old brother told us his girlfriend is pregnant. He was taught in his abstinence-only sex ed that condoms don't prevent pregnancy. My parents are blaming her pregnancy on me, for not telling him the truth about sex, because parents giving their kids the sex talk is "too awkward." FML

Today, the man I have been in a long-distance relationship with for 2 years told me he has been cheating on me for 6 months, and that he's leaving me for her. I'm due to fly out to see him next week on a non-refundable ticket. He insists that, "we can still hang out, just not have sex". FML

by Sadginger / 12/21/2015 at 6:45pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, the guy I thought I was exclusive with admitted that the only reason he comes over is because no one else will sleep with him. FML

by f4444 / 12/21/2015 at 12:38am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my father-in-law asked me if I have breast implants in front of the whole family for the third time this month. FML

by sharee / 12/19/2015 at 3:51pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, while jailbreaking my dad's phone, I found out the hard way that it's jam-packed full of my mom's nudes. FML

by brokebackanus / 12/18/2015 at 9:15am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

by NotSoComfortable / 12/17/2015 at 4:10am / Italy (Veneto) / Intimacy

Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML

by MystoganFT / 12/16/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

by Moth_Balled / 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I found out my girlfriend is a full-on, wants-to-be-banged-by-a-horse furry. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2015 at 6:47am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication. He wanted to know if I was interested in having a threesome with him and his current fiancée. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2015 at 9:38pm / Intimacy

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2015 at 3:24pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

by Hormones apparently / 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to my mentally unhinged roommate jacking off to a frozen TV frame of Peggy Hill from King of the Hill. When he saw me, he threw an ash tray at me and told me to get out. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy