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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36662) - you deserved it (4582)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, my boyfriend complimented me on how he liked my freckles down below. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they were just razor rash. FML

#21360762
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32127) - you deserved it (4715)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:15am - intimacy - by awkward.. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

#21360278
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39375) - you deserved it (3664)

On 02/21/2015 at 8:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Even after several hours I wasn't able to climax. My girlfriend now thinks that I don't like her body, and the reason I couldn't orgasm is because I don't like having sex with her. We spend the rest of the night in silence. FML

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266) - you deserved it (31993)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42709) - you deserved it (3776)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my best friend's brother after we drunkenly hooked up last night. I've had a crush on him for over a year. He ended up interrupting himself and said, "Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want anyone to think we're dating or anything." FML

#21357951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29473) - you deserved it (4982)

On 02/17/2015 at 10:48am - intimacy - by foreveralone - United States (Texas)

Today, while talking with my ex, I mentioned I was depressed about turning 40. He said he'd been depressed about turning 40 as well, until he started screwing hot 20-somethings. We were still together when he turned 40. FML

#21357283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35428) - you deserved it (3762)

On 02/16/2015 at 11:39am - intimacy - by notdaddy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36867) - you deserved it (5110)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

#21355947
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32173) - you deserved it (10468)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I introduced my dad to my girlfriend. He looked her up and down and said to her, "Beggars can't be choosers. Am I right?" FML

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

#21354562
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33971) - you deserved it (3261)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Mkimmi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

#21353835
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37272) - you deserved it (4906)

On 02/11/2015 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Yupppp. (woman) - United States (New York)



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Tuesday 25 August 2015

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