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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML

#21376248
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33169) - you deserved it (6457)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:00am - intimacy - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Not for cheating or for flirting, but because I wear tighty whities. FML

#21376186
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (20941)

On 03/17/2015 at 3:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

#21376116
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38491) - you deserved it (3743)

On 03/17/2015 at 1:09am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML

#21375288
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34062) - you deserved it (2990)

On 03/15/2015 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by why - United States (Arizona)

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

#21375051
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31963) - you deserved it (9079)

On 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34330) - you deserved it (12540)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

#21374265
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (7690)

On 03/14/2015 at 4:22am - intimacy - by sa la vash (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I spent 5 hours organizing my porn collection on my computer. What the hell am I doing with my life? FML

#21373875
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26029) - you deserved it (25033)

On 03/13/2015 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (369) - you deserved it (48830)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37546) - you deserved it (4269)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML

#21371100
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32704) - you deserved it (4330)

On 03/09/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Spain (Aragon)

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

#21370915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33804) - you deserved it (6571)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:13am - intimacy - by fruitoftheloom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML

#21370722
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26845) - you deserved it (2811)

On 03/08/2015 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by curtain buyer - United States (New York)



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