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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Not for cheating or for flirting, but because I wear tighty whities. FML

#21376186
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29031) - you deserved it (18716)

On 03/17/2015 at 3:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

#21376116
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35819) - you deserved it (88)

On 03/17/2015 at 1:09am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML

#21375288
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34034) - you deserved it (2984)

On 03/15/2015 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by why - United States (Arizona)

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

#21375051
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29558) - you deserved it (7915)

On 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34265) - you deserved it (12528)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

#21374265
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29881) - you deserved it (6588)

On 03/14/2015 at 4:22am - intimacy - by sa la vash (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I spent 5 hours organizing my porn collection on my computer. What the hell am I doing with my life? FML

#21373875
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25728) - you deserved it (24678)

On 03/13/2015 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (351) - you deserved it (48762)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35463) - you deserved it (3938)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML

#21371100
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32673) - you deserved it (4328)

On 03/09/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Spain (Aragon)

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

#21370915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33754) - you deserved it (6565)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:13am - intimacy - by fruitoftheloom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML

#21370722
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (2808)

On 03/08/2015 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by curtain buyer - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36216) - you deserved it (3272)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)



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