Today, I never thought I would see a blowjob from the perspective of the viewer, but it happened, in our open-space office. FML

by MrDanito / 04/28/2016 at 2:21am / Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj) / Intimacy

Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that'll kill my sex drive, just so she won't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2016 at 8:46am / Switzerland (Graubunden) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard a "friend" talking about me and my recently deceased dog. He said: "Only time I've seen someone get that upset over someone dying, they were fucking each other. Just sayin'." FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 2:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML

by 12MONTHLEASE / 04/21/2016 at 8:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML

by 0h_Boy / 04/20/2016 at 4:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that not texting my girlfriend for two days is considered dumping her, and is ample reason to screw other men. FML

by Singleagain / 04/19/2016 at 8:01am / Sint Maarten (Dutch part) / Intimacy

Today, my wife told me alcohol gives me "increased confidence without increased ability." FML

by j / 04/18/2016 at 6:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend called condoms the "biggest scam in history" and said I won't get pregnant if I just wash myself out with vinegar after we finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 4:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend finally moved out from his parents' house to his friend's flat. Excited that I wouldn't have to be so silent when we had sex anymore, I went over to spend the night. His bedroom is right next to his friend's 4-year-old daughter's room. FML

by mute / 04/15/2016 at 8:56pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 3:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, after working like a caffeine-fuelled thunderstorm for 9 hours straight on an art project, my 2 friends informed me that it was due next week. I slept for 10 hours, and then went to my class without my project, thinking I lucked out in the long run. Clearly not, as it was due today. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 8:12pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, on a train, a little boy and girl come up to me and ask how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appears and says, "Go on, tell them!" FML

by Anthony / 04/14/2016 at 7:15pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my husband has more topless pictures of his ex on his computer than he does of me. FML

by SureDoesMakeAGirlFeelGood / 04/12/2016 at 9:45pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Intimacy