Intimacy: Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy...

By aawkward... - 09/12/2009 19:27 - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 034

You deserved it 2 495

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Same thing different taste

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 140

You deserved it 4 218

By thanks mom ¬_¬ - 24/08/2013 22:05 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 699

You deserved it 4 730

By condiments - 22/02/2010 21:13 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 136

You deserved it 3 059

The talk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 331

You deserved it 2 278

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 570

You deserved it 5 629

Thanks Mom

By Enko - 09/11/2008 07:43 - France

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 573

You deserved it 5 247

By lobotomy pls - 11/09/2015 18:40 - United States - Tappahannock

Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 390

You deserved it 4 515

Memory loss

By UGH - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 274

You deserved it 81 061

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 755

TMI FML

By eugh - 07/05/2021 14:01 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 568

perdix 29

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:40

And your dad is out of town and/or had a vasectomy.

Starfire22 5

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:41

sooo, your mom has sex. old people have sex , bug whoop...

Comments

missyfayee 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:07

first!!!!!

00yoda4 0

Wednesday 28 April 2010 5:31

I think she added bananas

danyfuckinheatle 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 6:49

you should get a bj from her.

wintamint101 7

Wednesday 16 June 2010 3:23

they were probably for you

ClaireBear9087 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 1:32

57 youre stupid. 1 no one cares that your first. blahh. and ooh you didnt know your mom had sex? how do you think you got here?

poisonflower 6

Sunday 23 January 2011 2:40

56, the op is a girl.

pokemai 6

Monday 10 June 2013 12:44

Yeah, and a girl should never have to buy her own condoms ... Seriously .........

CougeeSwagg 19

Tuesday 3 May 2016 5:38

Um, it's only fair for everyone to be prepared. Why should it be the guy's responsibility every time? It's common courtesy.

icanspellgud 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:16

why did she randomly have her shopping list with her?

me199 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:18

awkward and..... THIRD!!!!!!

corbincorbin 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 2:28

see at least you made a comment on it not like the idiot at the top who only says first

TheWhiteDemon 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 4:13

what happened yo second? O.o

me199 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:20

SECOND and why did you ask her for condoms?

perdix 29

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:40

And your dad is out of town and/or had a vasectomy.

frikkinhannah 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 14:59

perdix, you're my favorite.

Starfire22 5

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:41

sooo, your mom has sex. old people have sex , bug whoop...

TheTerenity 9

Sunday 4 December 2011 5:23

*big

randomshuffle369 7

Monday 18 March 2013 2:31

Nein.

tristanh27 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:43

ya that's acward did she at least give you some. fifth

matt5217 4

Thursday 17 June 2010 20:50

nice try seventh

Lebanesegirl4Eva 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:50

Aww! Thats cute! But it is awkward especially if its your mom!

AtrumMessor 1

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:50

Eww...

quintus5446 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 0:16

I'll say it; it's because YOU were the consequence of not using Trojan condoms (the ecstacy is icing on the ****). p.s. yeah, she hates you.

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 47 899

You deserved it 4 075

Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long time, but as I also needed to go, I went to check on him. He was trying to urinate into the condom, “just to see what it was like.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 88