Intimacy: Today, I was at a party when I got a raging boner for no reason....

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Inphalluswetrust - 16/07/2016 18:15 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was at a party when I got a raging boner for no reason. I turned around to adjust myself and came face-to-face with my ex gf. Now she wants to get back together because she thought I got hard thinking abut her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 26

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

CrazyFastRapper 7

Sunday 17 July 2016 15:01

Better then at gym-god

Comments

CrazyFastRapper 7

Sunday 17 July 2016 15:01

Better then at gym-god

Keywords

Music Cute Love Coworkers TMI Gross Work Racism Customers Scary Kids Technology Gamers Geek Neighbours Miscellaneous DIY Relatable Social Media Ironic Cheating Awkward Sex Insects Animals Health Money Insurance Plumbing Embarrassing

The Top

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 509

You deserved it 7 847

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 318

The Top

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 371

You deserved it 3 483

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 948

You deserved it 17 594

He may need some medicine balls

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 144

Today, at my new retail job, I accidentally referred to white tank tops as, "Wife beaters." That's what I thought they were actually called, until my boss had to correct me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 423

Today, my boyfriend told me I should finish school early and get a job so we can get married, because then he'll have enough money to buy the truck he's had his eyes on for our whole relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 476

You deserved it 3 991

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 342

You deserved it 5 237